The Death of Me
by Loverly Light
Summary: When Meg took him over he was helpless, broken and locked away while his body ran amok. He'd rather a thousand demons possess him than spend one second as Lucifer's vessel.


The Death of Me

Being possessed by a demon was a horrific thing to experience.

Sam could still remember parts of his week with Meg in bits and pieces. He spent most of his time in merciful sleep, but there were occasions when he would wake and throw his soul vainly against the crushing cage that confined him. He would watch himself, his body, wholly under someone else's control. He could see just enough to be aware, but the rest of his body was completely numb. He could no longer feel the long strands of hair tickling the base of his neck, the cool beer scorching down his throat, his hands clutching tightly at the blade that drained the life out of his fellow Hunter. All he felt was a chilling emptiness and a crushing weight as he struggled against a being he could barely sense that was far more powerful than he.

He gathered all he could remember and held tightly and he told the devil Yes. Sam knew it was a long shot, knew he had just a sliver of a fraction of a chance that he could overcome Lucifer, but nothing could have prepared him for this.

Being a vessel... it was as different from possession as night was from day.

When Meg's essence first forced itself down his throat, Sam had put up a panicked fight. He was caught unawares and quickly subdued, control wrenched from his as he was pushed into a far corner of his mind. But this time, Sam knew what was coming. He just didn't know what would happen.

Lucifer touted a fair fight, but there was no struggle for control at all. Part of Sam was aware, that Lucifer had to have known what this would mean for both of them. But there was no battle because there was no-one to fight.

The first thing Sam was felt was the light. Lucifer's essence, cool and comforting and powerful, pouring into him and filling every inch. He wasn't restrained or held back. Instead, he felt... free. As much as he would deny it, Lucifer's Grace felt better than good; it felt _right_. Like this was everything his life- no, the _world_ had been building up to. Not just a sense of accepting this powerful creature into him, but that he was special, that this was special, something no other human could hope to survive and Sam was meant for it. Lucifer fit him like a glove, and for a second he could believe he was the most powerful being to ever exist.

Then the reality and horror started slowly slipping back to him. He was powerful and free, but... it wasn't him. Sam could feel the righteousness pouring over him, all the strength and might and purity the fallen angel possessed overtaking all he was.

This wasn't like Meg at all.

Lucifer wasn't just in here with him, Lucifer _was _him.

He couldn't just feel the crushing power now. He could feel the angel's thoughts and feelings bleeding into his own, with a presence so much greater than his own that he was lost in it. He felt Lucifer's rage, his plots, his pride and his love, but most of all, overwhelming all else, was joy.

Joy at this moment. Pure and untainted happiness that he was finally with Sam, that after all these centuries and centuries he and his vessel were finally one at the same.

Sam recoiled, knowing is some corner of his mind that this was wrong, he wasn't happy about this, this was terrible and Dean and everyone else was in danger if he didn't step up. But there was nowhere he could go, there were no bonds he could resist. Lucifer simply surrounded him, his presence seeping into every crack and making Sam more whole than any human ever was before. Their minds began to blur once more, and Sam felt himself swept away in the devil's exultation and triumph.

He could feel his vocal chords thrum as he spoke the words to close the cage. He could feel the wind as the world flew around his body. He could feel the devil roll his shoulders, adjusting to the body that was made specially for him. And he could feel the demons perishing as he tore through them one by one.

'Sam' was lost.


End file.
